Share Your Regrets
by Dragon Pulse
Summary: When you've spent so much time in your selfish desires, one act can change your entire outlook. Kurogane/Fay


There was a silence in the air that was unlike any he'd felt before. It was tense. Strange. Unfamiliar. His throat had a lump that couldn't be cleared, and his eyes burned from the sensation of holding back tears. He'd already shed too many; it wasn't acceptable to cry now.

Despite the awkward air, there was a peace that was unfamiliar. It was a sort of acceptance that he had never known. Perhaps because he'd never allowed himself to feel this way in the past. It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was that he couldn't. If he did, only bad would come of it.

Even without the other half, he was still a cursed twin.

At least, that was what he'd felt up until that point.

His head turned to see the peacefully sleeping body. The stinging feeling returned to his eyes as he saw the expression on the other's face. Unconscious, but still pained. Of course, one would be pained when faced with a situation such as the one they had.

But even still, just like the room's entire aura, there was a certain peace in the man's expression. A type he'd never seen before in the other.

He found himself sitting at the corner of the bed, watching. The rise and fall of Kurogane's chest was almost relaxing in a way. For the first time since they'd met, he was calm. He was peaceful.

He was also stupid and reckless for what he'd done.

* * *

When they hit the ground, it came with a loud thump that caused the three who were conscious to cringe. Fay looked down at the sight before him; his clothing was covered, stained deep crimson with blood. And when his eye shifted further, he was reminded of the cause. Kurogane was sprawled in the dirt, barely conscious and sans an arm.

"K…" The magician found himself choking on a name that he'd said so often in the past, however, it wouldn't come out.

"Tch. Shut it, mage." Kurogane's voice was strained and fatigued, but just as determined as it ever was. Fay's eyes widened. Or perhaps he still hadn't blinked once since he first saw the trail of blood while trying to leave Celes. "I wasn't going to let you throw your life away."

Fay said nothing in response, and they all fell into a state of silence. He watched on as Kurogane's eyes began to droop. His consciousness was quickly fading, and Fay knew that if they didn't act quickly, he'd die from the blood loss.

"Syaoran-kun!"

Syaoran didn't have to say anything in response to know what Fay wanted him to do. They were in a strange country – and neither of them knew how well they'd be able to care for injuries as serious as the one they were faced with. With a lifeless Sakura still in his arms, he stood, aiming to forge ahead. Fay found himself doing his best to scoop Kurogane's body up, but the use of his magic in Celes had depleted his strength greatly.

It was fortunate for the entire group that before even taking a step, they were greeted by Souma, who promptly had a group of guards escort them to Shirasagi Castle.

Those who knew how to change fate had saved them once again.

* * *

Kurogane shifted in his sleep, letting out a groan that hurt even Fay to hear. The magician leaned forward, brushing a piece of hair from the ninja's face as he felt the sleeping man's forehead. His lips curled into a relieved smile. His fever had gone done quite a bit in such a short time. They'd been fortunate that Tomoyo-hime had prepared for the situation. It had prevented the wound from getting infected, and it was likely that with a good deal of rest, Kurogane would recover fine.

Save for his arm.

Fay's eye stared intensely at the empty space on the bed where Kurogane's arm should have been resting. It wasn't, but what exactly for? Once again, the ninja had sacrificed himself for the well being of the selfish wizard. He let his eye fall closed, letting out a slight chuckle to himself.

"Always so stubborn, you know that right, Kurogane?"

But it was then that it hit him. Every time Kurogane had ever brought up the topic, Fay had tried to avoid it. But it was true – they'd all grown attached to each other. Fay, Kurogane, Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona. And just as it hurt to lose the soul of the Clone Syaoran in Tokyo, and what had happened in Infinity… what would have happened if it had been him? If Kurogane hadn't made that sacrifice, he would have been destroyed along with Celes. And then what of them?

It had been his fault the entire time. Every lie told, every secret kept – Fay thought that perhaps if he hadn't let Fei Wong's words in Valeria control him, then perhaps their fate could have been changed a few times over already. But he didn't. He was too busy trying to change the past.

"I've been doing it wrong all along…" He trailed off. "I should have been trying to change the future, hm, Kurogane?"

As he thought out loud, his fingers traced Kurogane's good arm. It sent a chill up the mage's spine. The ninja let out another groan, shifting once more. Fay quickly pulled his hand back, but he could still feel the strange sparks at his fingertips. He rubbed his middle finger against his thumb, looking back between his hand and the sleeping man.

And then the next thing had hit him.

A smirk appeared on his face as he began to realize what he needed to do.

"Perhaps… I can change Kuro-sama's future. For so long, I wouldn't let you help me. All that's done was hurt us both." He paused. He knew Kurogane couldn't hear him. He also knew Kurogane would never hear the words being uttered from his lips. "But what have I ever done to help you?"

Fay gently pushed himself off the bed, being careful not to disturb Kurogane. The ninja stirred very slightly, and Fay looked on until his only movement was once more the rise and fall of his chest. He began to walk towards the exit, pausing as Tomoyo-hime entered the room.

"Kurogane should be awake soon. I'm sure he'd like it if you were one of the first he sees when he awakes."

"Ah, thank you, Tomoyo-hime," He offered a small smile, but shook his head. "But I think it would be best if you see him first."

Before giving the princess a chance to respond, Fay had made his exit from the room. He wouldn't talk to Kurogane until he spoke to Yuuko. He had a proposition that would help not only Kurogane, but himself as well.

And perhaps, that was truly what this had been about all along.


End file.
